
One day soon I hope I finally reach this place, My life was torn apart along with my body when I was diagnosed and it hasn’t been the same since. Going from an avid hiker to barely walking has taken its toll, not only on my body but my spirit.
My dreams before this were to take off work for 6 months and hike the appalachian trail. I wanted to find myself again..I wanted to be free..I wanted to see exactly what I was made of..I wanted to leave a story of my life that my children could tell my grand children .. I know..I know.. it seems like I am self absorbed and perhaps I was. It was just something I needed. Then the cancer happened and those dreams faded with the realization that my life was different.
Two weeks ago I ended back in the hospital. it was a plethora of things. My COPD had flared up a few weeks before and had developed into and infection and Pneumonia. They sent me home that night with meds, 2 days later I was being rushed into the ER, the infection and Pneumonia had worsened and had caused me to develop a pulmonary embolism. They admitted me and did what Dr’s do, a day later I was feeling better, not well enough to leave..but better. The worst was over..or so I thought. My roommate was in for basically the same thing only his was a bit worse, stints were going to have to be put in. They took him down, put the stints in and brought him back.. the worst was over for him..or so we thought.
About 30 minutes later he called out and said he needed help. I must admit that I got up reluctantly but I got up and looked over. his sheets were covered in blood. I could see that he had burst his femoral artery,his life spewing out of him. I hit the nurses button but knew they weren’t going to realize exactly how bad he needed them. I ripped the oxygen mask off, ripped the Iv’s off. ripped the heart monitor off and took off down the hall. When I got to the first nurses station the only one there was a student nurse, but she took off back to the room. I got there a few seconds later and looked at her, I could tell by the look in her eyes it was bad. She screamed and told me go get help. Off I went back down the opposite hall to the wings main nurses station. About half way there I could feel my lungs sinking into my chest.. I knew it wasn’t good. I managed to scream loud enough to get the nurses attention and told them that room 902 was bleeding out. Instantly they were down the hall flying past me …now I had to get back.
I turned around and within a few steps came to the realization that perhaps I had made a huge mistake. I could not get a breath in no mater how hard I tried, my head was spinning.. I was done for. But I remembered something… Roxi was on the other end of the phone when all this happened..I was getting back to her. I managed to get back and then dropped on the floor..the last thing I remember seeing that night was my computer open and thinking she was hearing the whole thing. My oxygen level had dropped to 63 and I was going into hypoxia.. then everything went black.
Now I am sure everyone has heard the stories of what people experience , I had heard them too, but to be honest, I didn’t believe them…until then.
Everything had went black, then bright white, flickering back and forth between the two. Slowly at first,then speeding up faster and faster. Then it stopped again and I began to see a kaleidoscope of my life. Every person I had ever met. I saw my pops, saw my mom, my children and my siblings. Then it stopped again and I was looking at Richard ( my roommate ) it was so clear I could see everything, then I saw myself and saw my computer open…
I woke up in the ICU unit wondering what the hell had just happened, Those memories now etched into my very soul… leaving me questions I don’t think I will ever be able to answer…. I just want to get to my No Place.
Scene:
8f8 – No Place of Ours – Autumnal @ Decor(c)rate
[ keke ] still falling rowan arch @ Decor(c)rate
[ keke ] blow me away rowan leaves @ Decor(c)rate
[ keke ] still falling rowan leafs groundcover @ Decor(c)rate
LB_MysticBoardLeaf.v1{4Seasons} @ TLC
LB_MysticBoardLeaf.v2{4Seasons} @ TLC
LB_WildGrass*1Li{Autumn}
LB_Snakeweed{4Seasons}
02_8f8 – La Petite Joie Cafe – Delivery Tricycle RARE
8f8 – 04. Our Secret Hideout – Meadow Tree
07 – 8f8 – Storyteller’s Burrow – Direction Post
09_8f8 – New Beginnings – Wheels
11_8f8 – New Beginnings – Garden Bench